panza llena, corazón contento

Several years ago, I spent a summer in Mexico living with my aunt and uncle. I was trying to master the Spanish language and to get to know my Mexican family better. After every meal, my Tío Toño would always say, "Panza llena; corazón contento." This roughly translates to: "full stomach, happy heart." Tonight I realized that it isn't just the eating that makes his heart happy; it's the act of bringing la familia (more than just relatives) together and conviviendo (sharing life).

Tonight, Mission Adelante launched three different house churches. My group had the privilege of meeting in the home of one of the Latina moms who is relatively new in her faith. Her 11 year old son has a sweet and joyful heart and is one of my favorite kids to hang out with at LIT (Leaders in Training, Mission Adelante's after-school program).

This evening, for the first time since that summer I spent with my tío, I tasted the sweetness of what sharing life could look like in my neighborhood, in my life. My senses were awakened; the room was full of laughter, spices, color, and warmth. Everyone who came had a chance to speak and contribute; everyone brought something to the table (literally). We worshipped together and dug into the Word together. I felt alive again. We were doing church, being the church, and it had nothing to do with a program or a building.

Sometimes I get frustrated with my life, feeling like I've settled for an existence that is rather boring. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning to go do work that should be meaningful. I delay going to sleep at night because it feels like I can momentarily forget the inevitability of repeating the cycle again in the morning.

I admit that I do crave excitement which is harder and harder to find in this culture of overstimulation. But somewhere deep inside me, there is a longing for the simple, the most basic elements of life. I want to be satisfied with less. To find more value in the relational (Jesus & others) and less in the material (everything else).

How can I return to that simple life?

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

Philippians 4:12, 13

small victories

Little Sis proudly holding up her "Future E.R. Nurse" award after completing Nurse Academy

M & G holding up the library's summer reading program books & bags

These last six months have been draining and disappointing. I had to let go of my expectations and place everything--and everyone--in God's hands. I so badly want to be following God's will for my life but in my own way. I have been so focused on seeing big results that I almost missed the small victories that are evidence of God's great story and plan at work.

So let me pause to celebrate a couple moments that remind me of how good God has been and how far we have all come.

I may been disappointed that my Little Sis did not work as hard as I worked in high school, but I am so grateful that she had the opportunity to be one of only 45 students accepted at KUMed's Nurse Academy. Furthermore, she was one of the only high school students present as well as one of the only Latina students!

It is possible that M & G did not pass sixth grade (still waiting to find out), but they did get excited about reading and about getting their own library cards!

I am so proud of these girls and blessed to be allowed to be a part of their lives.

insatiable

When I was a child, I remember asking my mom why I kept walking around the kitchen aimlessly—I wasn’t hungry or thirsty, yet I kept opening and closing the refrigerator and the pantry. My mom told me that it was a spiritual hunger and thirst; my soul was longing for nourishment.

Tonight, probabably 15 years later, I remember my mom’s words.

"There is one mission, and it's God's mission. God's mission is God's glory. He has chosen to reveal his glory through the church. Everyone who is a part of God's church is called to spread God's glory. Our mission is the same as God's: his glory in the earth. The question is not 'Are you called?' but 'Where are you called?'"

--Floyd McClung, You See Bones, I See An Army

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

--Galatians 6:9

delighted to share my life

"We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us."

--1 Thessalonians 2:8

M, G, and I posing in front of the fashion show sign on Friday

Little Sis and me being silly and indulging in gelato & coffee, respectively

Spending time with these girls is so much more than a commitment, a program, or even an activity. It's sharing my life with them: taking them to watch my brother model in a fashion show, showing her where I worked my first job, buying Cheddar Jalapeño Cheetos every time I go to Price Chopper, looking up college scholarships in my free time...

It's time-consuming, unstructured, and messy. It's learning to put them before myself while remembering that they are still kids. It's taking comfort in the fact that I can only do so much because God can do so much more.

Thank You, Jesus, for the sweet privilege that it is to have a role in these girls' lives. May I not take this responsibility lightly.

“Yet if we are to preach that God is not only involved in the big matters of salvation, redemption and justice, but is also in the routine circumstances of daily life, then we need to show an interest in the ordinary events of people’s lives. People will watch what we do before they listen to what we say.”

-Adam S. McHugh

What a weekend so full of love. Heart-shaped cookies, homework parties, girl time, Bible games about Love, snow melting, carne asada, hablando con mi primo en messenger, feeling more Mexicana than ever.

Today was hard. Working on a Sunday is not something that I would like to continue doing on a regular basis. The office was quiet and lonely and I felt the weight of my families’ burdens. So many people who are hurting!

I do not pray for them nearly enough. It seems so overwhelming to mention each one by name and too impersonal to pray for them as a group. So pray with me for a few of them?

Lord, please be with L as she and her daughter seek refuge from the violence in their own home. I also lift up L2 who seems beyond saving, but nothing is beyond Your reach, O Lord. Please lift up V’s head while she’s going through the most difficult month in her life.

“When, because of your faith, your life too becomes perceptibly different; when your reactions are quite opposite to what the situation seems to call for and your activities can no longer be explained in terms of your personality; that is when your neighborhood will sit up and take notice. In the eyes of the world, it is not our relationship with Jesus Christ that counts; it is our resemblance to Him!”

—Ray Steadman, The Queen and I
(quoted by Beth Moore in my Esther study)

amazed at the gift of life on a cold winter's night

Did you notice that he's a "Special Holiday Delivery"?

He was born on Monday, December 20th at 11:40pm. A happy and healthy baby! I got the call from my Little Sister the next morning and went to the hospital to visit that afternoon. I felt so special to be included...the only two other people in the room at the time were her best friend and her boyfriend. And then I got to hold him...it was the first time I've ever held a newborn! Words can't describe the feeling...

I was looking at my profile from a site I haven’t used in two years, and I was just floored by how blessed I am today.

“Passion for Jesus, Compassion for People.”

Currently studying in DC, but the whole world awaits me. In the future, I hope to visit Italy, live in Buenos Aires and serve Latin America in general.

No puedo vivir sin ayudar a los que no tengan los mismos recursos. Es mi pasión y mi misión en la vida, y espero encontrar un trabajo que me deja hacerlo con todo mi corazón. [I can’t live without helping those who don’t have the same resources I do. It’s my passion and my mission in life, and I hope to find a job that allows me to do that with all my heart.]

Visit Italy? Check! My dad and I traveled to Venice and Florence last summer and I got to practice my six semesters of Italian study in person.

Serve Latin America? Check! God has given me a job where I have the daily privilige to serve Latinos in my neighborhood.

So blessed. :)

finally

Had an amazing evening at F’s junior high holiday concert. I think it was nice for his mom to not have to go alone, since her husband hasn't been around for a while.

There is something so exciting about being in a packed room full of beautiful faces, where I happen to be the minority. I felt so proud to be counted among the family and friends of this community. I finally felt connected. Finally.

Staying up way too late making Christmas cards for the kids & volunteers