five years [a long obedience in the same direction]

I was introduced to the concept of "a long obedience in the same direction" the first time that I visited 61 as a part of The Gathering in January 2009. It was the title of the series we were going through. It is also the title of a book by Eugene Peterson (that I still need to buy!).

The first time I visited 61, Molly M got up to share about Mission Adelante. I was very interested in finding out more about the ministry. Throughout the rest of that year, as I would tell people about how my passion was working with Latino youth and families, they would ask if I had heard of Mission Adelante. It took me a long time to finally visit. It took me even longer to commit to volunteering. Finally, in January 2010, I committed to volunteering with LIT (Leaders in Training, Mission Adelante's after-school program). Within a couple weeks of volunteering, I knew that I couldn't keep driving to my Johnson County home and leaving the kids behind in KCK. I had to move to KCK. This wasn't just a volunteer commitment. This was my heart and passion, my community.

So five years ago, on May 21st, I moved to Kansas City, KS. God had provided a wonderful roommate for me, Molly D, who is now one of my best friends. I was the one who signed the lease and put my name on all the bills. (I wanted to feel like a "real adult" after moving out of my parents' house). I didn't know what to expect, or how long we'd live here. But I knew that I was obeying the Lord. I didn't (and still don't) realize how long of a journey this would become...

I soon started attending church at Mission Adelante. Jarrett started a series on discipleship and encouraged us to think about who we could be discipling/mentoring. Since I mainly worked with kids, it made sense for me to think about which kids from LIT I would like to disciple. I prayed that the Lord would make it clear. Within a couple weeks, M, a sixth grader was telling me that she didn't know how she would finish all her homework. She didn't have enough time at LIT and she still needed help. So I asked her if she wanted to come over to my house to work on it Friday after school. The next week, G, M's best friend, asked if she could also get help. So I brought them both over to my house that Friday. Before I knew it, this became a weekly tradition. I would help them with homework, and then we would do something fun together. Family gatherings, First Fridays, movies, rollerskating, ice cream, pizza, birthday surprises, etc.

Fast forward two years, and the girls started talking about where they would be attending high school. They expressed interest in Bishop Ward. I knew that Bishop Ward was a great school, but I also knew that it would cost a lot of money. My dad encouraged me by saying that money was never an obstacle for God. So I wholeheartedly supported the girls in applying to Ward and studying for the entrance exam. It took them several tries on the exam before they were accepted to Ward. Then we faced the money concern. I knew that the money was out there and that I could probably find it, so I committed to assisting their families with the tuition costs for the first year at the school. I had no idea how challenging and time-consuming this would be. But I stuck with it and with them. Soon, Mission Adelante was able to start an actual scholarship fund for students who graduated from the LIT program who wanted to attend a private high school!

Please note; I never planned to start a scholarship fund. I just saw a need and volunteered to help some 11 year old students with homework. The rest resulted from building relationships with them and just being available. Conviviendo. Sharing life together.

Our relationships have changed over the years, but I've remained committed to being a part of their lives as long as they want me to be. There have been frustrating moments when I've wanted to give up. But I am finally beginning to see the fruit of all the years of ministry and PRAYER (and all the volunteers who have poured into their lives).

M and G are turning 16 years old this summer, and they have a bright future ahead of them. I can't wait to help them apply to colleges and and watch them graduate from high school in two years!

five years [following Christ is not safe]

Five years ago, I was really challenged. I believed that God was calling me to move to KCK, but I was scared. I went to high school in Johnson County, and I had heard terrible things about the "Dotte." I didn't think that I'd be safe there.

So I prayed. I begged Jesus to give me courage. I didn't want to be afraid of anything. I wanted to be able to be willing to die for Jesus. But I was scared of death, even though I knew my eternity was secure.

I started listening to old Urbana messages, and I listened to one that talked about how following Jesus wasn't safe and didn't necessarily make sense to others. Then it clicked. I wanted to follow Jesus with all my heart. And following Jesus wasn't safe. So it was okay for me to put myself in "unsafe" situations, if it was what Christ was calling me to do.

So I made arrangements to move to KCK. The day I went to sign my lease, I had a huge scare. But even that couldn't deter me. So five years ago, I moved to this wonderful community.

This is home. I'm so grateful to live in a neighborhood that is rich with culture. I don't feel scared anymore. Just yesterday you may have seen me walking along Minnesota Ave to Wyandotte High School's graduation.

Disclaimer: So many of my fears were based out of ignorance. Once I got to know my neighborhood, I was no longer afraid. I'd invite anyone to come meet my neighbors before making a negative comment about this community, my community.

Special thanks to Heartland, Westside, The Gathering, and Mission Adelante for all playing a key role in getting me here. And an additional thank you to BBBSKC, Donnelly College, and all the families and students that have made KCK home for me.

I'm so grateful.

a reflection on two years

[This post was written in July 2012]

A little over two years ago, I was commuting from JoCo to KCMO everyday for work.  Through my job, I had the privilege of getting to know many wonderful Latino families on both sides of the state line.  I remember a conversation I had with one Latina mom that would end up becoming a turning point for me.  I asked her how long her family had lived in Kansas City.  She answered and asked me if I lived in KCK or KCMO...I hesitated before admitting that I lived in JoCo.  I could feel a wall begin to form between us.  Despite my Mexican heritage and years of studying Spanish, I could not relate to her.  We lived in different worlds.

Around the same time,  I began volunteering at LIT (Leaders in Training, Mission Adelante's after-school program).  It didn't take long for my heart to grow fond of the children and community.  On February 15th, 2010, I wrote:

I am a passionate person. If I commit to doing something, I will do it whole-heartedly. I will give every ounce of energy I have to do the best that I can do with the given situation.

I have recently committed to spending 2.5 hours a week with a great group of kids. Just 2.5 hours. During these 2.5 hours, I try to make myself completely available. But when the time is up, I struggle to walk out the door and leave the neighborhood behind. 

These kids have my heart and they don't even know it.

Within days of writing this, I had coffee with Megan, the director of children's ministry at Mission Adelante, and I shared my heart and some tears with her.  She told me about a great place to live and promised she would try to find me a roommate.  A few months later, I had moved to KCK with Molly, my new roommate and friend!

Today--just two years later--I live, work, go to church, and volunteer all within a one mile radius.  This community is no longer a volunteer opportunity or work assignment.  It is my home.  These are my people.  I may still lead a very different life from that Latina mom, but now I'm just down the street. :)

panza llena, corazón contento

Several years ago, I spent a summer in Mexico living with my aunt and uncle. I was trying to master the Spanish language and to get to know my Mexican family better. After every meal, my Tío Toño would always say, "Panza llena; corazón contento." This roughly translates to: "full stomach, happy heart." Tonight I realized that it isn't just the eating that makes his heart happy; it's the act of bringing la familia (more than just relatives) together and conviviendo (sharing life).

Tonight, Mission Adelante launched three different house churches. My group had the privilege of meeting in the home of one of the Latina moms who is relatively new in her faith. Her 11 year old son has a sweet and joyful heart and is one of my favorite kids to hang out with at LIT (Leaders in Training, Mission Adelante's after-school program).

This evening, for the first time since that summer I spent with my tío, I tasted the sweetness of what sharing life could look like in my neighborhood, in my life. My senses were awakened; the room was full of laughter, spices, color, and warmth. Everyone who came had a chance to speak and contribute; everyone brought something to the table (literally). We worshipped together and dug into the Word together. I felt alive again. We were doing church, being the church, and it had nothing to do with a program or a building.

"Accents Changing Along Central Avenue Corridor in KCK" 10/10/11

Mission Adelante is making a difference in the neighborhood.
Music by Jon Shirley, local worship leader

small victories

Little Sis proudly holding up her "Future E.R. Nurse" award after completing Nurse Academy

M & G holding up the library's summer reading program books & bags

These last six months have been draining and disappointing. I had to let go of my expectations and place everything--and everyone--in God's hands. I so badly want to be following God's will for my life but in my own way. I have been so focused on seeing big results that I almost missed the small victories that are evidence of God's great story and plan at work.

So let me pause to celebrate a couple moments that remind me of how good God has been and how far we have all come.

I may been disappointed that my Little Sis did not work as hard as I worked in high school, but I am so grateful that she had the opportunity to be one of only 45 students accepted at KUMed's Nurse Academy. Furthermore, she was one of the only high school students present as well as one of the only Latina students!

It is possible that M & G did not pass sixth grade (still waiting to find out), but they did get excited about reading and about getting their own library cards!

I am so proud of these girls and blessed to be allowed to be a part of their lives.

Today is the day. I’m moving from my family’s comfortable suburban home to my own place in the predominantly Hispanic urban ghetto. And I couldn’t be more excited.

Jesus, this is for You.

My dad and I went driving around my future neighborhood today. We stopped by a restaurant I had heard had the “best Mexican food in all of Kansas City”. All the Latinos stared at us for a moment, which I took to be a good sign. Maybe I’ll become a regular soon.