This past weekend I had the privilege of going on my annual personal prayer and planning retreat. I try to do this near the beginning of each year in order to prayerfully reflect upon the past year and to ask the Lord what He may have for me in the coming year. He will often give me a word/focus/theme for the year. Here are some words or phrases He’s given me in recent years: surrender; follow through/obedience; and saying “no” to fear. This past weekend I felt He was revealing to me that I needed to once again focus on intentionality. Every relationship requires intentionality to grow. My best friendships are the ones in which we’ve set up regular times to check in with each other, no matter how busy and chaotic our lives are at the moment. So why have I sometimes neglected to do this with the Lord, the most important relationship that I have? This was a humbling realization, but I look forward to seeing how I will grow with Him this year.
Wednesday, February 8, 2023
Monday, November 8, 2021
more thoughts on Surrender
When I went on a personal prayer and planning retreat at the beginning of this year, I felt like the Lord had given me the word “Surrender” for 2021 as a focus. As I’d been reflecting upon John Mark Comer’s The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, I realized that a huge part of my surrender needed to be finally becoming intentional in observing a weekly Sabbath. This has been a huge learning process for me as I’ve continued fine-tuning what I want that to look like in my life. It’s been hard for me to find the delicate balance of rest, devotion, and delight (three essential elements in my Sabbath practice). I’ve learned to sometimes say no to good things and to also make exceptions to my own Sabbath guidelines.
Recently I realized that I had reached a point of physical and spiritual exhaustion and possibly even burnt out. I’m grateful that the Lord provided an opportunity for me to leave my daily routine here by going to Orange County, California for almost a week. This break was a breath of fresh air for my spirit and helped me discern some of what the Lord has been calling me to in this season – surrendering by saying no to good things in a couple more areas of my life. I reluctantly stepped down from being one of my church’s volunteer youth group leaders – I no longer had the capacity to do this well even though it’s still a huge desire of mine to be involved with the next generation of Jesus followers. I’ve also “pressed pause” in another important area of my life, trusting that He is in control even without my constant striving. Although I’ve always believed that He is sovereign and good, my human nature often desires to take control and to “make things happen.”
As this year quickly approaches its end, may you create the space needed to reflect upon what He has been teaching you and begin asking what He has for you in the coming year.
Monday, February 8, 2021
my word for 2021
Last month I had the opportunity to go on a personal prayer & planning retreat, something I try to do at least two times per year. The main goal of my retreat was to reflect upon last year and to ask the Lord for a word/direction for 2021. I believe He told me to focus on “surrender” for this year. To surrender is to trust that His ways are better than mine – it doesn’t take much contemplation for me to know that’s true. It’s also an act of worship. My life is not about me; it’s about bringing Him glory and honor. Instead of allowing myself to become disappointed when circumstances don’t meet my expectations, I’m choosing to trust His will AND say that it is good, even when I don’t understand. I often remind myself to pray: “Your will. Your way. Your timing.”
One practical way I plan on maintaining an attitude of surrender is through observing a Sabbath, a command that I’ve never taken seriously enough. It’s only been about a month since I’ve started doing this, but I’m already immensely enjoying the benefits of resting and delighting in Him. I used to really struggle with the feeling that I never had enough time to journal my prayers and thoughts during the week. Now I look forward to “catching up” on journaling each Saturday morning (after sleeping in) and then having a whole day with nothing competing for my time with Him.
Friday, August 7, 2020
a much needed retreat and book
This past weekend I had the privilege of going on another personal prayer retreat. My main goal on this retreat was to rest and "go off the grid" (that is, to turn off my phone). A friend had just recommended The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer, which ended up being the perfect book to remind me of the power of disconnecting from technology and slowing down the pace of my life. The author started his own journey after hearing Dallas Willard's response to the question of what was necessary in order to grow spiritually: "Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day. You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life." This rang true for me on my retreat as I was finally able to rest without the barrage of bad news streaming in and endless notifications going off on my phone.
In the silence and solitude (one of the four main areas discussed in the book) of my solo retreat, I was able to focus enough to read two entire books as well as to spend dedicated time to journaling some of my prayers; both of those things are challenging for me at home as I feel inundated with distractions. The author also encourages us to further explore Sabbath, Simplicity, and Slowing. I asked the Lord how I could practically apply some of the ideas presented in the book. In my journal, I wrote down some small changes that I'd like to make in each of these respective areas.
I would highly recommend the book to anyone who is living a "hurried" life and would like an easy read with some great inspiration and practical tips of where to start. I didn't mean for my reflection to turn into a book review, but these are still the things that I'm processing. I look forward to seeing how I'm able to integrate some of these changes into my lifestyle in the coming months.
Wednesday, July 8, 2020
growth
And then the world changed with COVID-19. Many of the plans that I had made on that retreat were no longer feasible or just didn't make sense anymore. But the focus that the Lord had given me for the year - growth - was starting to make a lot more sense. Would I be able to adapt when circumstances didn't go according to my plans? Did I still trust that Jesus had the best in mind for me? Would I allow Him to stretch me in these challenging times?
As I mentioned in my last post, I signed up for the June session of our intensive three-week church planting training. I'm excited to let you know that – with only a couple minor adjustments – I successfully completed the training! The Lord gave me the stamina to make it through those long days and to show up for those early mornings; this was nothing short of a miracle!
During the storytelling part of the training, we were each challenged to practice a three-minute version of our personal “God story” or testimony. I focused mine around how I’ve seen the Lord’s goodness and faithfulness throughout my journey with brain cancer. The student I shared this with asked if she could film me sharing this to send to her friend H who just recently came to know the Lord and was discouraged in her fight against cancer. I’ve now been in touch with H for a couple of weeks and hope that my experiences can help strengthen her faith. I’m grateful to have had this opportunity to impact someone who I may never meet in person. Isn’t God amazing like that?
