five years [a long obedience in the same direction]

I was introduced to the concept of "a long obedience in the same direction" the first time that I visited 61 as a part of The Gathering in January 2009. It was the title of the series we were going through. It is also the title of a book by Eugene Peterson (that I still need to buy!).

The first time I visited 61, Molly M got up to share about Mission Adelante. I was very interested in finding out more about the ministry. Throughout the rest of that year, as I would tell people about how my passion was working with Latino youth and families, they would ask if I had heard of Mission Adelante. It took me a long time to finally visit. It took me even longer to commit to volunteering. Finally, in January 2010, I committed to volunteering with LIT (Leaders in Training, Mission Adelante's after-school program). Within a couple weeks of volunteering, I knew that I couldn't keep driving to my Johnson County home and leaving the kids behind in KCK. I had to move to KCK. This wasn't just a volunteer commitment. This was my heart and passion, my community.

So five years ago, on May 21st, I moved to Kansas City, KS. God had provided a wonderful roommate for me, Molly D, who is now one of my best friends. I was the one who signed the lease and put my name on all the bills. (I wanted to feel like a "real adult" after moving out of my parents' house). I didn't know what to expect, or how long we'd live here. But I knew that I was obeying the Lord. I didn't (and still don't) realize how long of a journey this would become...

I soon started attending church at Mission Adelante. Jarrett started a series on discipleship and encouraged us to think about who we could be discipling/mentoring. Since I mainly worked with kids, it made sense for me to think about which kids from LIT I would like to disciple. I prayed that the Lord would make it clear. Within a couple weeks, M, a sixth grader was telling me that she didn't know how she would finish all her homework. She didn't have enough time at LIT and she still needed help. So I asked her if she wanted to come over to my house to work on it Friday after school. The next week, G, M's best friend, asked if she could also get help. So I brought them both over to my house that Friday. Before I knew it, this became a weekly tradition. I would help them with homework, and then we would do something fun together. Family gatherings, First Fridays, movies, rollerskating, ice cream, pizza, birthday surprises, etc.

Fast forward two years, and the girls started talking about where they would be attending high school. They expressed interest in Bishop Ward. I knew that Bishop Ward was a great school, but I also knew that it would cost a lot of money. My dad encouraged me by saying that money was never an obstacle for God. So I wholeheartedly supported the girls in applying to Ward and studying for the entrance exam. It took them several tries on the exam before they were accepted to Ward. Then we faced the money concern. I knew that the money was out there and that I could probably find it, so I committed to assisting their families with the tuition costs for the first year at the school. I had no idea how challenging and time-consuming this would be. But I stuck with it and with them. Soon, Mission Adelante was able to start an actual scholarship fund for students who graduated from the LIT program who wanted to attend a private high school!

Please note; I never planned to start a scholarship fund. I just saw a need and volunteered to help some 11 year old students with homework. The rest resulted from building relationships with them and just being available. Conviviendo. Sharing life together.

Our relationships have changed over the years, but I've remained committed to being a part of their lives as long as they want me to be. There have been frustrating moments when I've wanted to give up. But I am finally beginning to see the fruit of all the years of ministry and PRAYER (and all the volunteers who have poured into their lives).

M and G are turning 16 years old this summer, and they have a bright future ahead of them. I can't wait to help them apply to colleges and and watch them graduate from high school in two years!

five years [following Christ is not safe]

Five years ago, I was really challenged. I believed that God was calling me to move to KCK, but I was scared. I went to high school in Johnson County, and I had heard terrible things about the "Dotte." I didn't think that I'd be safe there.

So I prayed. I begged Jesus to give me courage. I didn't want to be afraid of anything. I wanted to be able to be willing to die for Jesus. But I was scared of death, even though I knew my eternity was secure.

I started listening to old Urbana messages, and I listened to one that talked about how following Jesus wasn't safe and didn't necessarily make sense to others. Then it clicked. I wanted to follow Jesus with all my heart. And following Jesus wasn't safe. So it was okay for me to put myself in "unsafe" situations, if it was what Christ was calling me to do.

So I made arrangements to move to KCK. The day I went to sign my lease, I had a huge scare. But even that couldn't deter me. So five years ago, I moved to this wonderful community.

This is home. I'm so grateful to live in a neighborhood that is rich with culture. I don't feel scared anymore. Just yesterday you may have seen me walking along Minnesota Ave to Wyandotte High School's graduation.

Disclaimer: So many of my fears were based out of ignorance. Once I got to know my neighborhood, I was no longer afraid. I'd invite anyone to come meet my neighbors before making a negative comment about this community, my community.

Special thanks to Heartland, Westside, The Gathering, and Mission Adelante for all playing a key role in getting me here. And an additional thank you to BBBSKC, Donnelly College, and all the families and students that have made KCK home for me.

I'm so grateful.

a reflection on two years

[This post was written in July 2012]

A little over two years ago, I was commuting from JoCo to KCMO everyday for work.  Through my job, I had the privilege of getting to know many wonderful Latino families on both sides of the state line.  I remember a conversation I had with one Latina mom that would end up becoming a turning point for me.  I asked her how long her family had lived in Kansas City.  She answered and asked me if I lived in KCK or KCMO...I hesitated before admitting that I lived in JoCo.  I could feel a wall begin to form between us.  Despite my Mexican heritage and years of studying Spanish, I could not relate to her.  We lived in different worlds.

Around the same time,  I began volunteering at LIT (Leaders in Training, Mission Adelante's after-school program).  It didn't take long for my heart to grow fond of the children and community.  On February 15th, 2010, I wrote:

I am a passionate person. If I commit to doing something, I will do it whole-heartedly. I will give every ounce of energy I have to do the best that I can do with the given situation.

I have recently committed to spending 2.5 hours a week with a great group of kids. Just 2.5 hours. During these 2.5 hours, I try to make myself completely available. But when the time is up, I struggle to walk out the door and leave the neighborhood behind. 

These kids have my heart and they don't even know it.

Within days of writing this, I had coffee with Megan, the director of children's ministry at Mission Adelante, and I shared my heart and some tears with her.  She told me about a great place to live and promised she would try to find me a roommate.  A few months later, I had moved to KCK with Molly, my new roommate and friend!

Today--just two years later--I live, work, go to church, and volunteer all within a one mile radius.  This community is no longer a volunteer opportunity or work assignment.  It is my home.  These are my people.  I may still lead a very different life from that Latina mom, but now I'm just down the street. :)

“We see in the homies what they don’t see in themselves, until they do.”

This quote by Mark Torres, S.J., could sum up the book Tattoos on the Heart. I believe that God has blessed me with a similar opportunity to be involved in the lives of youth who are full of creativity and potential and insight. They usually dismiss my compliments, but I hope that they are allowing truth to take root in their hearts, the truth of who God has created them to be and how He looks upon them with so much affection.

Although I don’t agree with all the theology of the book, I would definitely recommend Tattoos on the Heart. The stories are a testament to the transformative power of God’s love. I laughed and cried through each chapter, and I am challenged by the longevity Gregory Boyle’s commitment to the people of East L.A.

panza llena, corazón contento

Several years ago, I spent a summer in Mexico living with my aunt and uncle. I was trying to master the Spanish language and to get to know my Mexican family better. After every meal, my Tío Toño would always say, "Panza llena; corazón contento." This roughly translates to: "full stomach, happy heart." Tonight I realized that it isn't just the eating that makes his heart happy; it's the act of bringing la familia (more than just relatives) together and conviviendo (sharing life).

Tonight, Mission Adelante launched three different house churches. My group had the privilege of meeting in the home of one of the Latina moms who is relatively new in her faith. Her 11 year old son has a sweet and joyful heart and is one of my favorite kids to hang out with at LIT (Leaders in Training, Mission Adelante's after-school program).

This evening, for the first time since that summer I spent with my tío, I tasted the sweetness of what sharing life could look like in my neighborhood, in my life. My senses were awakened; the room was full of laughter, spices, color, and warmth. Everyone who came had a chance to speak and contribute; everyone brought something to the table (literally). We worshipped together and dug into the Word together. I felt alive again. We were doing church, being the church, and it had nothing to do with a program or a building.

Mission Adelante is making a difference in the neighborhood.
Music by Jon Shirley, local worship leader

small victories

Little Sis proudly holding up her "Future E.R. Nurse" award after completing Nurse Academy

M & G holding up the library's summer reading program books & bags

These last six months have been draining and disappointing. I had to let go of my expectations and place everything--and everyone--in God's hands. I so badly want to be following God's will for my life but in my own way. I have been so focused on seeing big results that I almost missed the small victories that are evidence of God's great story and plan at work.

So let me pause to celebrate a couple moments that remind me of how good God has been and how far we have all come.

I may been disappointed that my Little Sis did not work as hard as I worked in high school, but I am so grateful that she had the opportunity to be one of only 45 students accepted at KUMed's Nurse Academy. Furthermore, she was one of the only high school students present as well as one of the only Latina students!

It is possible that M & G did not pass sixth grade (still waiting to find out), but they did get excited about reading and about getting their own library cards!

I am so proud of these girls and blessed to be allowed to be a part of their lives.

delighted to share my life

"We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us."

--1 Thessalonians 2:8

M, G, and I posing in front of the fashion show sign on Friday

Little Sis and me being silly and indulging in gelato & coffee, respectively

Spending time with these girls is so much more than a commitment, a program, or even an activity. It's sharing my life with them: taking them to watch my brother model in a fashion show, showing her where I worked my first job, buying Cheddar Jalapeño Cheetos every time I go to Price Chopper, looking up college scholarships in my free time...

It's time-consuming, unstructured, and messy. It's learning to put them before myself while remembering that they are still kids. It's taking comfort in the fact that I can only do so much because God can do so much more.

Thank You, Jesus, for the sweet privilege that it is to have a role in these girls' lives. May I not take this responsibility lightly.

What a weekend so full of love. Heart-shaped cookies, homework parties, girl time, Bible games about Love, snow melting, carne asada, hablando con mi primo en messenger, feeling more Mexicana than ever.

finally

Had an amazing evening at F’s junior high holiday concert. I think it was nice for his mom to not have to go alone, since her husband hasn't been around for a while.

There is something so exciting about being in a packed room full of beautiful faces, where I happen to be the minority. I felt so proud to be counted among the family and friends of this community. I finally felt connected. Finally.

photo highlights from august & september!

Labor Day weekend: I went out to Sacramento/Santa Rosa for my cousin's wedding. Horacio is one of the cousins I'm closer to on my mom's side (out of the 36 cousins). He's the one who came to my college graduation and my brother Michael's high school graduation. In this pic, I'm about to read 1 John 4:7-19 in Spanish! (this was funny because my cousin, Javi, read this in English even though he grew up speaking Spanish)

Because my work is awesome and gave everyone a free week of vacation for meeting our fundraising goal, I took off straight from Cali to visit my good old friends in Arizona. It was a great week of relaxing, going to the lake, hiking in Sedona, going spelunking for the first time ever, and hiking a bit of the Grand Canyon (pictured above). I've been friends with Lauren and Vicki since 2nd grade!

The very next weekend, Lauren flew out to KC for something that fell through, so she ended up spending most of the weekend with me, even though we had just spent the previous week together in AZ. Photo: we are eating breakfast together on the Plaza.

The following weekend my roommate and I finally hosted our Housewarming Fiesta, only four months after we had moved in! We had some really crazy weather, so it was not as well attended as we had hoped, but at least we finished decorating our home!

Kansas and Missouri are looking beautiful and the weather is getting crisp. I've been obsessed with all things autumn, so I convinced my brother, Joseph, to come do a corn maze with me a couple weekends ago. It was pretty amazing!

Last week I had the wonderful opportunity to take these lovely ladies that I tutor to their first ever Royals' game. We didn't really care about the baseball being played and instead talked about which players were cute and took a bunch of silly pictures.

On Saturday, I spent the whole day with my Little Sister. We made a pizza from scratch (the first time either of us had done this), baked chocolate chip pumpkin muffins (picture above), and watched the Princess Diaries. We also had some great conversations about love, her pregnancy, and even faith. I love her!

these kids are the reason why...

...I love "back to school" time. Today was the first day of the fall trimester for LIT (Leaders in Training), the after-school program that I volunteer with. This is the same program that served as the catalyst for me "moving to the neighborhood."

At LIT, the kids arrive and get a chance to eat a healthy meal while we catch up with them about their day. We then spend about 30 minutes for recreation so that we can get that out of their systems. They then split up and go with their respective groups to study math, language arts, or get homework help. At the end of the day, we circle up and usually share encouraging things we've noticed about others in the group. We close in prayer--nothing moves me more than when these children talk to God.

What a wonderful day…

These kids loved my car because it has a sunroof. They were amazed by the elevator that went up 18 floors and looked over downtown. And they loved piling into the old-fashioned photo booth hidden at the back of the restaurant.

all or nothing

I am a passionate person. If I commit to doing something, I will do it whole-heartedly. I will give every ounce of energy I have to do the best that I can do with the given situation.

I have recently committed to spending 2.5 hours a week with a great group of kids. Just 2.5 hours. During these 2.5 hours, I try to make myself completely available. But when the time is up, I struggle to walk out the door and leave the neighborhood behind.

These kids have my heart and they don't even know it.