music and wonder

 As we rapidly approach the holiday season, I'm reminded (once again) of how grateful I am. Yes, the majority of my reflections are on gratitude, but I do believe that my renewed focus on gratitude/worship has radically improved all aspects of my life. 

I had the privilege of attending a classical music performance this past Sunday evening. A dear friend of mine, who is in my house church community, composed the music and wrote the lyrics that were performed by a local four-piece string quartet and a mezzo-soprano singer. I was moved to tears by the beauty of the music as well as by experiencing the fruition of my friend's long-time dream and answer to prayer.  

Isn't our God amazing? Music is one of my favorite ways to hear His voice and to experience the wonder of His creation. May we all experience a renewed sense of awe as we enter this holiday season.

more thoughts on Surrender

When I went on a personal prayer and planning retreat at the beginning of this year, I felt like the Lord had given me the word “Surrender” for 2021 as a focus. As I’d been reflecting upon John Mark Comer’s The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, I realized that a huge part of my surrender needed to be finally becoming intentional in observing a weekly Sabbath. This has been a huge learning process for me as I’ve continued fine-tuning what I want that to look like in my life. It’s been hard for me to find the delicate balance of rest, devotion, and delight (three essential elements in my Sabbath practice). I’ve learned to sometimes say no to good things and to also make exceptions to my own Sabbath guidelines.

Recently I realized that I had reached a point of physical and spiritual exhaustion and possibly even burnt out. I’m grateful that the Lord provided an opportunity for me to leave my daily routine here by going to Orange County, California for almost a week. This break was a breath of fresh air for my spirit and helped me discern some of what the Lord has been calling me to in this season – surrendering by saying no to good things in a couple more areas of my life. I reluctantly stepped down from being one of my church’s volunteer youth group leaders – I no longer had the capacity to do this well even though it’s still a huge desire of mine to be involved with the next generation of Jesus followers. I’ve also “pressed pause” in another important area of my life, trusting that He is in control even without my constant striving. Although I’ve always believed that He is sovereign and good, my human nature often desires to take control and to “make things happen.”  

As this year quickly approaches its end, may you create the space needed to reflect upon what He has been teaching you and begin asking what He has for you in the coming year. 

pressing on and asking for help

Things have been hard for me recently. I constantly feel exhausted no matter how many hours I sleep. I’ve been hard on myself, frustrated by the lack of visible improvement in my stamina and productivity. I reached a breaking point when others started pointing this out to me as well. Trying as hard as I could was no longer enough. I realized that I couldn’t do this on my own anymore, so I decided to ask for help.

I started by asking my parents to hold me accountable with how I spend my time. I met with my counselor, who assisted me in coming up with next steps in different areas of my life (work, spiritual, social, health, etc.). I told close friends and mentors that I needed their prayers. The Lord immediately responded by enveloping me with peace and the assurance that I wouldn’t always feel this way; this was just another step in our journey together.

I hope that this encourages you to ask for help and prayers when life gets challenging. This life isn’t easy, but His “yoke is easy and [His] burden is light” (Mt. 11:30). We aren’t created to walk on this journey alone.

Spring has sprung

Spring has certainly sprung in Kansas City. In addition to the temperatures finally warming up, spring reminds me of renewal, rebirth, healing, and hope. I often talk about seasons in life. My mom loves gardening and has been excitedly planting bulbs and seeds these past couple of weeks. She understands that these plants start out as small seeds or bulbs and need water, sunshine, and care in order to develop and grow.

I remember that the dormant, empty moments of winter are only a prelude to the spring, making me value and appreciate the spring that much more. And my Papa promises that His purposes will be accomplished – we may not see it now, but we are growing, and He is tending to us. His purposes and promises will be fulfilled. And that gives me hope right now, in whichever circumstances I find myself.

“As the rain and the snow

    come down from heaven,

and do not return to it

    without watering the earth

and making it bud and flourish,

    so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:

    It will not return to me empty,

but will accomplish what I desire

    and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

[Isa. 55:10,11]

May you be encouraged with the hope that He is still working in you and through you in this season. You will soon see the new life that has been germinating under the surface.