a moment of mindfulness and gratitude

I have given up complaining for Lent. This has been harder than I thought it would be. I catch myself on the brink of complaining ALL THE TIME.

As a part of Lent, I have also been more intentional about recognizing the positive choices I've been making toward self-care. One way that I've been taking care of myself is through no longer speeding excessively while driving. (I have been guilty of this for years.) This has allowed me to not feel as stressed all the time.

I left work early today because I was feeling exhausted and really sick to my stomach. As I was driving home at a relaxed pace (no speeding!), I considered calling someone to complain about how terrible I was feeling. Instead, I focused my attention on the trees that lined the street bursting with white blossoms and the fluffy white clouds that filled the brilliant blue sky. I was overcome with wonder and awe at how beautiful this life could be. And this was but a glimpse into the beauty of our Creator. How could I so often miss these details? I instantly felt calm and didn't feel the pain in my stomach anymore. I had shifted all my attention from my pain to my gratitude and worship.

I would like to encourage you to try the same. The next time you are in a difficult situation, take a deep breath and focus on one thing that you are grateful for. It can be as simple as a text message received or the cool afternoon breeze. This attitude can change your entire life. It has changed mine. And I'll never be the same.

Is it Ash Wednesday already?

Confession: Even though I grew up in a Christian home, I did not hear about Lent until high school. A peer of mine mentioned that she couldn't eat chocolate chip cookies because of Lent. I guess that I was too shy to ask about it, because I did not find out more until I attended a Jesuit university years later. As a Protestant Christian who was familiar with the concept of fasting (giving up something for a time in order to draw closer to God), I liked the idea of Lent. So even though I had not grown up with the practice, I gave up Facebook for Lent my freshmen year of college. And believe me, that was quite the sacrifice at the time. But honestly, I don't know if that helped me draw closer to God.

My senior year of college I decided to give up complaining while adding gratitude. I created a chart for each day of Lent and would write in something that I grateful for. (I was already cultivating a practice of gratitude and mindfulness.) This had a profound impact on my life. Every time that I was tempted to complain, I would shift my thinking to all the blessings that I had in my life. This helped increase my awareness of God's presence in the small, mundane moments of life. For example, I remember studying one afternoon at Barnes and Noble and a lady striking up a conversation with me. She asked me about my career goals (I think I was still clueless) and really encouraged me, giving me her business card. Without the practice of being grateful, I may have been annoyed by this woman interrupting my studies.

Today is Ash Wednesday. I'm sitting in Panera, watching people come in with their ashen crosses on their foreheads. I saw many people announce on Facebook that they would be giving up Facebook for Lent. I honestly haven't been really been thinking or praying about what to do this Lent. But as I recalled my senior year of college, I am leaning toward giving up complaining* again and keeping another list of gratitude. I will also continue to let go of a difficult grudge that I've held on to for a long time. I think that I will also make an intentional effort to record all the times I make a positive choice toward self-care (a constant struggle for me)--this will help me have more margin in my life in order to be more present in the moment and to be more emotionally and physically healthy.

*complaining topics include: the cold weather, my health, finances, living situation, relationship status, etc.

Day 1:
Gratitude: I'm grateful for a working computer that I can take to Panera, in a neighborhood in which I feel safe.
Self-care: I did not order a Chai Latte at 5pm (even though it sounded amazing!)because I wanted to make sure that I could sleep well this evening.

Confession #2: I came to Panera to get ahead on a work project. But apparently that really inspired me to write this post. ;)